From Ally to Antagonist: Tragic Luc In Suikoden
- Amethyst
- 8 July, 2025
- Amethyst
- 20 June, 2025
Today is the day of Zayden’s departure to his home country. His belongings? All packed for the trip across the border. Jowlani and Zayden have been up early, since around the clock of 6. The anxiety starts to creep inside Jowlani’s mind and body. He’s been here before, but saying goodbye to someone remains difficult. Not that it’s wrong to feel, but shutting it down can be destructive for oneself. He’s told Zayden in the past day what he will do when he’s away. Jowlani is going to seek help for dealing with his past, and become a better version of himself.
Loving yourself and taking care of yourself are two different things as well. With Zayden’s help, Jowlani has started loving small bits of his personality. Though he still has issues taking care of himself. In the time he has to endure life alone, Jowlani is going to take the next steps of self-care. He wants to become mentally stronger. This way he can speak his mind, even when things become tough. He wants to become physically stronger. That way he can defend himself when there’s no one to help him out. It’s always bothered him that he was small of stature and scrawny.
“Good morning gorgeous! How are you feeling? You slept a little uneasy, tossing and turning around.”
“That’s an understatement to say the least. Of course I slept bad. It’s not easy seeing you off across the border, when the storm of war is brewing. I will miss you terribly. I know you’ll be back soon, but it’s still a long wait.”
“I understand how you feel. I will work hard to make sure that new steps towards peace are made. It’s possible with the right amount of persuasion. Who better than the son of the power couple of Altgrön, to do so?” Zayden smirks and holds Jowlani close to him.
“Listen up. I’ll make you a deal to help us both out. When you successfully achieve the goals you set out, I will you help with the next big step. That means a nice trip of our own, just the two of us. A good day, maybe more days of fun. To finally breathe and relax. With the better and newer version of you. If I’ve made steps towards peace on my end, then you’ll take me a out on a day of my choosing. Do we have a deal?”
“That’s cheating, because our goals and tasks are way different. But I understand your offer, and I accept. You’re on! You better save some money, because what I want is expensive!”
“Yeah, the ice cream ultra mega deluxe, right? I’m just kidding. You know you have this in the bag. I trust you to achieve your goals, like you trust me to do my thing. This pact will be successful. When you uphold your end, you’ll feel like a whole new person. Serena will keep an eye on your progress, as will Laura and Adnap. Nothing to fear. Only winners here! Well, it seems like this is the moment.”
A carriage with two horses in front drive into the street where Jowlani lives. A guard steps out of the carriage.
“Sir Zayden Blankermann, the Forever Green Guard is here to assist you across the border to the homeland. We will take your belongings into the carriage. Say your goodbyes and we shall be off.”
“Well ‘Lani, it’s time. No informalities I’m afraid, because of.. you know. I will miss you dearly, but I will anxiously await the moment I’m back to see my best friend again.”
Secretly, he gestures a heart towards Jowlani, then turns around and steps into the carriage. The horses are guided to start the journey. Zayden waves as the carriage takes off. Jowlani feels emotional, but holds in until Zayden can no longer see him directly.
Aunt Serena and Laura have both joined him to wave goodbye. As soon as Zayden is out of sight for everyone, Jowlani bursts out into tears. Serena and Laura take him inside, and give him massive hugs. He rests his head on the table and sniffles a bit through the tears. Talking is out of the question, but he can listen to their words.
“Oh dear boy, do not worry. He will be back before you know it. From what I’ve seen in the last year, he’s had his ups and downs. He’s been close around whenever you needed him most. He’s always in a positive mood, and keen to help people. Just like when I couldn’t reach one of the plants that grew too high. He saw, didn’t even ask, and watered it. Now I’ve got a beautiful set of flowers in that bucket.”
“Well, I guess Team Laura has been a bit dismembered now… I mean disbanded for now… wow, that was.. not the smartest thing I ever said. ‘Lani, your aunt is right though. Zay will have a beautifully terrible time in Altgrön. He will only long for the day he’s back with you. And then.. Team Laura will be complete again! Plus, you will have a smiley day instead of being sour and sad like now.”
Jowlani lifts his head up and goes upstairs. Serena and Laura follow him, just in case.
He looks at the made up bed and then to the nightstand. The last note left by Zayden on there, makes him smile again, even if just a bit. The bath joke did the trick apparently.
This makes aunt Serena interested in the content of the note. In the blink of an eye she snatches the note out of Laura’s hand. She reads and says: “Ashamed? Dear girl, those are not even the right words to explain what I think of this.”
Jowlani becomes very anxious and tries to stare out of the window. Though Serena has a different idea of what Jowlani should do. That is paying attention to his aunt.
“Dear boy, turn around and face exactly what I have to say about this note… Never, ever, think that if I read things like this, that it’s vulgar. We are all young at a certain point in time, and this is the least of my concern. I’ve gone through three husbands, and this is just to keep things interesting. Especially in new relationships this is surprising and new, but the effect wears off. You need to make it spicier by the day if you want to stay together for long. At least that’s what my only girlfriend said. But that’s for another time.”
Jowlani and Laura look to each other surprised, and maybe a bit of disgust. Maybe aunt Serena just overshared her past love life. It’s nothing new of her to overshare, but she’s never been this personal. And they don’t want to know now either.
“WAIT? WHAT!? Three husbands, and a girlfriend. Miss Serena, you charmer! Don’t want to know deets, but that’s impressive! Maybe you can give ‘Lani some tips when he needs them later. Or me, because I’m single as can be. We’ll have tea sometime to discuss. Right ‘Lani, enough of the dirty schmooze. Miss Serena and I will leave you to it. Whenever you need us, just call on either one, or the both of us. We’re here for you while Zay’s gone. Dinner is already made by miss Serena, so you can warm it up later. Bye, my only member. Dismembered… Disbanded Team Laura out!”
“Dear boy, he’ll be back soon. I’ve prepared your favourite course for tonight. It’s what you always ate as comfort food, so I hope you’ll like it. If you need me, knock on the door four times. That way, I know it’s you. Have a nice evening with this meal, and then turn in early. You can use the time off.”
Jowlani takes some time to think about Serena’s and Laura’s words. He walks downstairs after a while, holding onto the note. Still hearing the echo of Serena’s words in his mind. There’s something weirdly comforting about this ridiculous day. From Zayden’s emotional goodbye, to Serena’s unfiltered advice on love. A whirlwind of emotions all wrapped up. This turns the day into the late evening.
Jowlani takes some time to think about Serena’s and Laura’s words. He walks downstairs after a while, holding onto the note. Still hearing the echo of Serena’s words in his mind. There’s something weirdly comforting about this ridiculous day. From Zayden’s emotional goodbye, to Serena’s unfiltered advice on love. A whirlwind of emotions all wrapped up. This turns the day into the late evening.
The kitchen smells like something familiar from Jowlani’s past. A warm and nostalgic feeling creeps up inside his body. He finds the dish already warmed in a small oven. He pulls it out carefully and sits at the table. It is definitely his comfort food, just as promised by Serena. The specific mix of flavours brings him back to simpler days. The kind when he’d come home from a long school day. Serena would always say: “Eat first, cry later.” Perhaps she was right.
He tastes more than just the food itself. He tastes the tenderness and care it was prepared with by Aunt Serena.
Once he finishes, he washes his plate and utensils. It’s really quiet in the house now. The type of quiet that rings in your ears when the world stands still. He heads upstairs again to get his rest. Then he walks past the spot, where the note still lies on the nightstand. Reading it might be an idea, but it would make him miss Zayden even more. So he decides to leave it in place.
The bed feels too big, sleeping all on his own now.
Jowlani turns on his side to face the window. The stars above are dimly lit. They are blocked out a bit by clouds. Like a storm that is yet to come. Jowlani closes his eyes and breathes in deep, holds it, and breathes out. He feels a bit more relaxed by repeating this therapeutic exercise. One day down, but many more to go. Time for Jowlani to become stronger, as he promises to himself out loud.
But still…
What if something happens across the border that delays Zayden’s return?
What happens to Jowlani when he goes through his past?
Will he be able to process it in a helpful way?